The Emotion Called Love

This is the month of Love. Most of my fellow bloggers have written a couple of posts on "Love". My post called What is love? earlier this month, talked about Love in general. I didn't touch upon too much on the details of love. A fellow blogger with whom I share an uncanny resemblance in terms of thought talks a lot about the entire emotion of love in depth in her blog through stories and poems. Yet another fellow blogger blogged about true love in her recent post.

I have never really been able to say what love is really. I know its a beautiful experience and a very strong emotion. I am probably at a stage in life where I cannot really pin-point and say this is love. All through the years I've seen and heard many stories revolving around love. Many people have done many good and bad things when in love. Well it cannot be justified who is right or wrong but as they say all's fair in love and war! One question I often ask myself is does true love really exist? My attempt in this post is to bring together a couple of incidents of how love has changed people in many ways. And these form the basis of my take on Love.

Their's was a love marriage. He was a successful top notch guy in a big firm. She quit her high flying career as an air hostess to give birth to their two beautiful children. Slowly motherhood started taking a priority and she gave it her all to be a good mother, wife, daughter-in-law, daughter, & sister. In the interim, he found solace in a new secretary who joined him. How it happened, why it happened, are questions I will try to answer some other time, however, now the reality was, he was all for this "new woman". The new woman claimed she loved him, he claimed he loved her. Maybe true, maybe she used him just as a stepping stone for her success in life. The wife in the meanwhile after confirming her doubts
confronted her husband. He said, she lacked the "punch" and the "perspective" the "new woman" had. The wife now went on a journey of self doubt, anger, frustration, guilt, devastation. She cried a lot and then decided to transform herself. She now took out some time for herself and groomed herself better. She found herself a good job which brought back her confidence. She joined a gym and lost oodles of weight. Today, she has a 6 digit salary, designer clothes, and an anorexic body. He claims he loves her now. Is this true love? Was the man right, leaving her for another woman because she didn't carry the right attitude to stand next to him? Or was she right, when she decided to transform herself for a man who gave in to another carrot?

She was just out of college and this was her first job. As all girls of her age, she developed a crush on her boss. He was charming, young, dashing, drew a good salary, and he noticed her! She did her work diligently so that she could earn a brownie point from him. He made sure he gave her more work so as to make her come back to him again and again. They fell in love eventually. Things were great for a few months, until one day they got caught by his wife. He was in a fix. He loved the girl and he couldn't leave his wife. He told her that he would get divorced and get married to her but he needed some time. Over the next few months, things started to look different. He was spending less time with her and more time with the family. She understood, thinking that after the divorce he would not be able to spend quality time with the children. She went with the flow only to realize much later that he went back to his wife. She felt cheated and devastated. Wasn't it selfish on his part to leave his wife and go for her in the first place? Or wasn't it selfish on her part to continue the relationship even when she knew he was married?

Another married girl fell in love with a married man. They both were madly and passionately in love with each other. They both prioritized the current relationship as the most important thing for them. Slowly time came to chose between family & kids and the existing relationship. The girl chose to give up everything she built over the years for this one person. The man was in dilemma and decided to take some time to take the decision. He didn't want to rock the boat. To him it was about maintaining the balance of both the boats. She didn't agree. She said if she can make him the priority, why can't he? But he wanted the best of both the worlds. They contemplated on the decision for many months and finally gave up on their relationship. Was she a fool to leave her family for him? Wasn't he too self obsessed or too selfish to demand the best of everything?

This brings me back to my question, does true love really exist? In all the above cases, all the characters were in love. They wanted to move to the next level, however, for some reason, they couldn't. Lets just dwell upon this thought for a little while. In the true sense, everybody was willing to give up the love for something else thinking that the new life would be greener for them. So you see, its about themselves. WIIFM (What's In It For Me)! The moment, I get something better, I'd conveniently move there. Now this looks greener and the other side of the fence looks like a dessert. Its a matter of convenience really. As human beings, our survival instincts tells us to do what is the best for us at any situation, even if we have to lose someone in the bargain. Here I would safely call all of us extremely selfish.

But I thought love was selfless? Wasn't it about giving your all, heart and soul? Wasn't it about going that extra mile in the relationship? Prioritizing that one person, even if it means you have to let go of a Mr or Miss Universe?

In the true love that you shower, there is selfishness because in your giving, lies your taking!!!

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  1. There is much I wanna say... but i will come back and write about it... office becons... would have given an arm to just reply to this post!


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